After watching the secondary get burned in big games against Ohio State and USC, Ron English sat down and reformulated his defensive strategy for the 2007 season.
"Well, Lloyd told me we had to cut down on the balls going over our heads, and we need to attack the quarterback more efficiently. I mean, we could recruit harder, practice more intensely, or upgrade the playbook, but I really think that giving our defense chainsaws is the fastest way to see results next year. When you see our guys next fall, you'll say it's the greatest thing you ever...saw!" (Oh Ron!)
Will the NCAA bigwigs allow Michigan defenders to carry these deadly power tools onto the field? "We'll see what the rules committee says," remarked English. "They've certainly agreed to other crazy rules within the last few years. Remember that one about starting the playclock right on the kickoff, or the one where they shorten the kicking tee, or how we're now kicking off from the 25 yard line instead of the 30? If they want to shorten the game and add more action, my chainsaw idea is right up their alley!" Said the coach while grinning proudly.
"If this works, I think we're really in the title hunt for next year," said English with a hopeful exuberance. "This will make defense so easy, maybe we could have kept Mundy around. Wait...nah."