Manningham's Lic Is Sick.

That's one lic he'll regret for a while

During the past few months, my opinion of Mario Manningham's character has been declining steadily because of all the recent developments in the news. However, when I found out that Manningham scored a six out of fifty on his Wonderlic test, my esteem of the receiver formerly known as The New Math dropped like one of the balls he tried to catch in the Ohio State game.

Mario apparently has two brain cells - one for smoking pot, the other for catching footballs. As long as the NFL team which picks him can keep brain cell numero uno in check, I think things will be alright.

But a six? Good Lord. How did he ever pass a class at Michigan?

Despite "Blazing" Speed, Future Not "Bud"-ding.

*bubbling noises*

Yes, I know that many people have already covered this today. But you know I couldn't let an opportunity like this to go by and not contribute a little. I hope Manningham gets his act together after he gets drafted somewhere. There's too far too much talent there and money to be made to smoke it all away.

And Just Like That, It Was Over.

So yeah, thanks for all those catches. Enjoy your millions.

Autumn Thunder Exclusive: Manningham Suspended Because of The Worm!

Only $29.95! Sorry, no CODs.

As we all know, Manningham will not play this week against EMU due to a violation of team rules. Many have speculated what rule Mario may have broken - but only Autumn Thunder has the scoop: it was indeed the game-ending Worm that did the wide receiver in.

'Round and around and around and around!

"Mario Manningham doing 'The Worm' was totally unacceptable," said Lloyd Carr. "Everybody knows that our entire program is stuck in the 1960's. Everything is from the '60's. The kind of players we recruit - the playbook - the coaching methodology -the worm is from the mid 80's, and Mario's flagrant disregard of Michigan's time-honored tradition of not adapting to change had to be reprimanded."

"Perhaps if he did 'The Twist' at the end of the game, we would have abstained from punishing him." Explained Carr. "Hell - I would have tolerated 'The Swim' or even 'The Monkey'. But 'The Worm?' That's not something a Michigan Man does."

Look for Manningham's return in two weeks.

Meeeechigan Football Celebrity Lookalikes!

Are you ever curious as to what celebrities our boys in blue look like? Using the Myheritage.com face recognition program, the mystery is finally solved! I put in a few of our favorite players and the results are both fascinating and amusing.

MIKE HART

Our favorite running back Mike Hart was determined to look like:

1) Terrance Howard - Starred in "Get Rich or Die Tryin'."
2) Andre Braugher - That guy from "Homocide: Life on the Street."
3) 50 Cent - King of Gangsta Rap and Thug Life Icon.

I think the face recognition program did a good job here. I can see the resemblance!

CHAD HENNE

Chad Henne was matched to:

1) Barack Obama: Democratic political candidate.
2) Paul Walker: The dude from Fast and the Furious.
3) Paris Hilton: Prison Bitch. Literally.

WOW! Did the program have a temporary malfunction? Did Henne's chin overload the motherboard? DAMN!

JAKE LONG

Jake Long, the Goliath left tackle, is computed to resemble:

1) Ricky Martin: Bon Bon shaker.
2) Boy George: Bon Bon enthusiast.
3) Vaira Vike-Freiberga: President of Latvia. Bon Bon!

Once again, the program did an acceptable job. I can see where these all relate.

MARIO MANNINGHAM

Mario Manningham, receiver extroardinaire, was matched up with:

1) Cuba Gooding, Jr: Shown the money.
2) Jack Black: Nacho Libre et al.
3) Zsa Zsa Gabor: 40's and 50's Hungarian movie babe.

Did the computer nail this one? The Cowbell Commander says...meh.

DAVID CONE

At last! The backup QB who we never see! David Cone. He was said to resemble:

1) The creep-tastic inbred banjo kid from the movie "Deliverance." A perfect 100% match!

Who do you look like? Go to the site and find out!

Manningham, Long Enjoy Their Playboy All-American Experience.

"Ladies, wanna see something super?"

This week, Mario Manningham and Jake Long were announced as selections for the 2007 Playboy All American Football Team. Aside from the prestige of being selected for this honor, Manningham and Long took home fond memories of their photo shoot for the magazine.

"I definitely had a good time at the Playboy shoot -the girls who helped out were so...fun," winked Manningham.

Jake Long was still in a state of awe, not completely done processing the experience. When asked how he enjoyed the photo shoot, Long stared for a while, and after a minute, declared "booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobieeeeeeeeeeeeeees!" with a wondrous expression.

Jake, Heff, and the "not so little brown jugs."

Hopefully Long will recover within a few days. Autumn Thunder salutes you, Jake and Mario. Congratulations!

President Speaks at "Million Man-ningham March" In Support of Receiver's Freedom!

Today, a sea of Maize and Blue descended upon the United States capital in protest of the treatment of Mario Manningham. The "Million Man-ningham March" was the unprecedented single-greatest act of solidarity among a college sports fan base. George Bush, President of the United States, addressed the crowd and showed his support for Manningham's freedom.

"My fellow 'mericans! We must standify together and face this terrible crisis as one. Today, I have officially added the Michigan State police into the Axis of Evil. In case you were wonderin', I put them way ahead of Iraq on the Axis, and now they're ranked second, just behind that dog in Duck Hunt who laughs at me each time those tricky ducks get away. Hear-illate these words, 'merica! We will not rest until Mr. Manningham's innocence rings from across the mountaintops of our great land. You say that '86 equals number 1'. We should now say that '86 equals freedom!'"

Manningham Framed for Drug Possession by Corrupt Michigan State Po-Po!

Today we received the troubling news that Mario Manningham was framed for possession of an illegal substance by a corrupt Michigan State police officer. Currently, there are no charges filed against Manningham, and will be none filed until the necessary drug tests are performed.

The only substances they will find in Manningham's blood are super awesome Sparty-burning DNA chromosomes. We here at Autumn Thunder are outraged and will immediately start to protest the East Lansing City Hall with picket signs, tambourines, and a drum circle of at least 4 hippies from the Diag.

Stay tuned to Autumn Thunder for updates on Mariajuanavicoden-gate.