Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Boren Myself Thinking of the Possibilities.

Maybe Boren REALLY left the Wolverines in order to chase a dream of starring in a Hollywood movie.

Or maybe he left in order to record a rock and roll album? Who the hell knows? Oh well...

Good luck, Dann O'Neill! Welcome to the Big Person Table.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Don't Feel Bad About The O-Line....Look At Puppies Instead!

Why waste time feeling sad or worrying about things you can't control? Rather than get all glum and gloomy over all the abuse our offensive line has taken recently, here are some puppy pictures of Mikey and Woodson you can use to stay on the sunny side of life.

The Chemical Equation for the Eliminaton of Boron Boren.

Well, never in a million years did I see this one coming. What the hell is going on here? Somebody make sense of it all!

A New Hope for America.

I don't know about all of you guys, but I am thoroughly unimpressed with the selection of potential candidates for the next President of the United States. Hillary? Brrrrrrr! Barack? Not yet. McCain? Get the oxygen tank ready.

You know what America needs? Hart and Edwards in 2008. How would they handle two of the most important issues?

Diplomacy: As President, Mike Hart would go around to all "little brother" nations of the world and spread cheer and a positive attitude to all.

Finance: Remember how Braylon scored 3 miracle touchdowns against Sparty in '04 when everyone though the game was over? As VP, Braylon could totally pull out a clutch performance and bring the country out of the potential recession.

I'll be expanding more on my Hart/Edwards proposal in coming posts. Think of the possibilities!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Hey Coach, Welcome Aboard.

The infamous "Madden draws a penis" telestration!

Here's a warm AT welcome to Three and Out, a new Michigan football blog run by an actual football coach (there's a concept!). I think we'll all agree that someone with in-depth football knowledge writing for our little corner of the blogosphere is always a good thing. Thus far, Three and Out has focused on explaining football strategy and has included some good diagrams to make the explanations easier. If you read this blog once in a while, you might say something insightful at a sports bar and sound really smart in front of your friends.

Coach Simmons, welcome to the club. Blog well and blog often!

Happy Easter!

What? You don't like Hippity-Hop culture?

Happy Easter in advance to all the AT readers out there - may the bunny bring you many cavities this weekend. I'm taking a weekend excursion to my parents' place outside Philly, so I'll be back Monday-ish. Take care till then!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Welcome, New Blogger Comrades!

It has come to my attention that a new Michigan football blog has popped up: Wolverine Liberation Army. This site seems to be spoofing a concept from the horrible 1980's movie "Red Dawn," in which the heroic group of young rebels defending the Midwest from the invading Commies call themselves "Wolverines." Good luck with your site, and welcome to the Michigan football blogosphere. Now boys....AVENGE ME!!!!! AAAAAA!-VENGE! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Let The Games Begin!

This is what you have to look forward to...

Gee whiz. Terrelle Pryor is now a Buckeye. Let me get out my box of kleenex and go hug Mikey for comfort. G may have been diplomatic, but diplomacy ain't my bag, baby!

TP, you are now public enemy numero uno of the most tasteless photoshopper in the Michigan blogosphere. You have three years of artwork such as this coming your way. While my future mancrush Sam McGuffie will be depicted slaying dragons and leaping over buildings, I'll have you doing "other things." Congrats.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


RichRod needs to take the edge off his frustration while installing the new offense.

Ah, spring practice is getting underway for our team. Hooray! Reports are that things are a little ugly for now, but they will no doubt improve over the next few weeks and during all of late summer camp.


On a random note, maybe it's just me, but Calvin McGee REALLY looks like Tony the Tiger.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Tell Me Something I Don't Know.

Ok, so the long-awaited scandalous article has finally arrived. WHAT? FOOTBALL PLAYERS TAKE EASY CLASSES? OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Gimme a freakin' break here.

Brian has written some words. But you don't come here for words, do you?

Friday, March 14, 2008

LiveBlogging: Dumbest Thing Ever?

Obviously a LiveBlog sympathizer.

Though I have been reading sports blogs online for the better part of three years, I am still a somewhat new contributor to the blogosphere. Throughout my years of reading other amateur writers' work, one thing I have never understood is the LiveBlog. For those of you who don't know what a LiveBlog is, a LiveBlog is when a blogger writes down every single thought that pops into their mind while they experience something (like watching a game on TV). In a nutshell, it's a stream of consciousness posted on someone's blog.

I occasionally read through LiveBlogs when they are posted, and in general, find them to be:

1) Usually not that funny/informative/interesting.
2) Usually too long.
3) Masturbatory.

LiveBlogging is weak. LiveBlogging is a mailed-in effort which does a disservice to a blogger's reputation by exposing their audience to a half-assed piece of work when a blogger could have otherwise taken a little extra time to put something cohesive, compact, and well-planned for their faithful readers to enjoy. Moreover, it seems extremely self-indulgent and somewhat narcissistic.

Bloggers, I know March Madness will soon be in full effect and the temptation to post a LiveBlog or two will arise. I urge you...for the sake of your readers and your own hard-earned reputations...RESIST!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Pryor of Love!

Airing Sundays right after Rock of Love and Mondays before Flavor of Love!

He's had plenty of time to decide between Richee, Quackee, Vestee, and Wrinkelz, but he has still not made up his mind. Will this be protracted until April 1st? My money says yes. Do I even care at this point? Nyet.

And yet, I watch. He'd fit in perfectly with all the other indecisive primo dons on VH1. Word.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

The Nit' Hit The Fan.


Last year, Michigan looked pretty dumb in the offseason because some of the guys couldn't keep their heads on straight. This year, it appears to be PSU's turn to have a knucklehead offseason, and they might even put up a few points points in the EDSBS Fulmer Cup!

How many days till football?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Hair To The Victors?

You too can look like this for only $30,000!

Yesterday morning, I overheard two ladies at the office discussing male celebrities who had hair plugs. My ears perked up when I heard the name Tom Brady. Tom Brady? Is the most spectacular football player Michigan ever produced "pluggin' it up?"

I did a little bit of investigative Googling when I got home, and found out that Brady had indeed recently been to a hair clinic in NYC. (That hair clinic is right where my old apartment used to be! Ahhhh, the village...good times.) Anyway, the pictures that day show him styling his hair in "the swoop," which is the go-to style of college guys everywhere who are beginning to see their hairlines recede. Can there be any truth to this? You be the judge.

More importantly, does it really matter if he is getting a little artificial help with his 'do? If I had tons of money and the inclination to have the surgery, I'd do it if I saw a need for it. Good for you, Tom Brady. Man - the offseason must really be getting to me if I'm starting to care about crap like this!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

March Bad-ness.


Ah, nothing perks up the offseason quite like a good ol' coaching rampage. With a little over six months to go until the season begins, I'll take what I can get.


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