Kevin White's "Weisagotchi" A Total Flop.

You have to feed him. And feed him. And feed him. And feed him. And feed him.

Today, Kevin White, AD at Notre Dame, recalled thousands of Weisagotchi toys. These electronic gadgets, modeled after the Tomagotchi craze of the late 90's, enable college football fans to own their own personal electronic version of Charlie Weis.

"Wooooooooooooord up!" said K-Money. "I needed to make some quick cash because our ticket sales were declining and all of our endorsements were falling through. 0-5 doesn't lend itself well to making cheddar, dig me? These Weisagotchi gizmos were supposed to be all that and a bag of chips. But really, they're makin' my peoples ill. I'm not talking about that good kind of ill that my hip hop homies are. I mean physically ill. Like gettin hospitlized ill."

Ouch! Talk about taking one for the team.

Thousands of Weisagotchi users were checking into hospitals due to extreme wrist pain. Why? Because in order to keep their Weisagotchis alive, users had to feed their Weisagotchi an average of 15 hot dogs a minute (only half of what the actual Charlie Weis eats). If the Weisagotchi was not fed enough, it would start to throw a temper tantrum, and revert to the toy's "press conference mode" where the Weisagotchi would get really defensive and say how great it was. The only way to get the Weisagotchi out of this defensive setting was to repeatedly press the "stroke ego" button for hours on end.

Several users who were not injured complained that their Weisagotchi died shortly after purchase. Apparantly, they tried to exercise it and it expired instantly.

Michigan Gets Screwed In ND Series Renewal Deal.

Autumn Thunder has the exclusive transcript of the Michigan / Notre Dame series renewal conversation between Big Billy Dollaz and Kevin White (aka K-Money). Behold how it all went down and how Bill Martin got the losing end of the stick...

Yo Yo Yo! Whats up K-Money? Let's get down to biz-nass. We have to renew our series! I got bills to pay, my man. Babymama bills, automobills, stadium renovation bills... Plus, I want to go to the Gandy Dancer a few times tomorrow. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a few times for a snackaroonie, dig? What do you think?








Yeah man. I need some serious bread too. Our ludicrously self -indulgent NBC contract isn't enough to afford all that gold paint we go through every year. Plus, Charlie's hot-dog expenses have been off the hook. And now that you convinced Adidas to give you the most loot to wear their threads my contract with them doesn't seem like all that and a bag of chips anymore. I think we should extend this contract for 20 more years.







FOR SHIZZLE!!!












For shizzle. All you have to do is take me out for a nice meal and I'll renew the series. You ever hear of Mendy's? It's a great place. You'll love the swordfish. It's spectacular!

Later, at Mendy's...

You know what Dollaz? I'm not that hungry. I think I'll just have the soup.












Alright, whatev. But this still counts as the meal, my home-skillet.












No way! Soup isn't a meal! What are you trying to pull here Dollaz? I give you a perfectly good series renewal and you can't even buy me a meal?











Don't play games with me, K-Money! This is the meal! That's it! Nobody gets the best of Big Billy Dollaz!











Alright, this is the meal. But now, we get home field advantage in our favor for the hardest games on our schedule from now on.












Shizzle.













And there you have it, AT fans. Did BBD make the right move? We'll see.