Commie Football Is Running Rampant!

Get out your little red playbook!

So what does Michigan linebackers coach Steve Szabo think now that Michigan is done playing regular-season opponents who utilize the spread offense?

"We're happy about that. I call that communist football. I'm so tired of it. Good, red-blooded Americans snap the ball hand it to the guy and have a normal run game or pass game. It's not all that other stuff."

Defender of truth, justice, and only running it up the middle all the time!

But Szabo did not stop there. In a rant that can only be described as McCarthy-esque, he went on about how Communism was ruining the world of college football.

"I'm sick of how this read-option or spread-offense bullcrap is making Goddamn commies out of our young men. This whole system of "each man contributing to the best of his ability" is total bunk. Whatever happened to the elitist quarterback getting all the credit and piggybacking off the work of his supporting cast? Now THAT'S capitalist football! What about the running back who rises up through the ranks, stepping all over the offensive lineman who blazed the trail for him? That's the spirit!"

Szabo further elaborated. "There are too many of these horrible Pinkos in the game today. Dennis Dixon and Jonathan Stewart? You can bet those punks read their Little Red Books every night. Steve Slaton? Pat White? I bet the wear bright red jock straps under their blue and gold down in West Virginia. You know who the worst is? Tim Tebow. I heard he reads The Daily Worker every day before practice and is forming a communist sect within the Gators. What is the world of college football coming to? It's un-American!"