A few days ago, SI released its college football mascot power rankings. To the surprise of many, Uga, Georgia's snaggle-toothed yet adorable canine, was beaten by Al, UF's dweeb in an alligator costume . Uga did not take the news well. Unable to live with the fact that he was only the second-best mascot in college football, he hired a group of thugs to corner Al in a dark alley and pump his guts full of lead.
"Look here palley boy," barked Uga. "I have a reputation to maintain. Nobody's more cute and lovable than me. Ya hear? NOBODY! I'm going to keep things this way - by any means necessary. Now somebody take me for a walk and change my pee pad! What am I, an animal?"