Saturday, August 18, 2007

Big Billy Dollaz's Punch Out!

This game is rated D for Dollaz!

Big Billy Dollaz has once again shocked the Michigan community with the release of his new video game "Big Billy Dollaz's Punch Out."

"Yo Yo Yo! I've been droppin' Franklins and Hamiltons left and right lately. All the scrappin' and stuntin' our boys have been doin' has burned a hole in my pocket. Lawyers fees, bail money, silencing the press...damn! I needed to make some quick cash. My liquid gold fountain in my office was starting to dry up, and son, you never, never front on a man's liquid gold fountain." said Dollaz.

"So I licensed this video game. I figured with all the punches our boys have been throwing over the last few weeks, this game would be tighter than Mary Sue Coleman's ass in a press conference. Forshizzle!"

Punching him in the stomach does nothing - too much flab in the way.

"The first opponent you face is Flubber McGobbles. He's an Irish guy who kinda looks like Charlie Weis, but is most certainly not Charlie Weis, due to all that legal shizzle. He's rated really high in the game, but he never lives up to the hype."

He's a crafty one! Punch him in the brain!

"You'll also duke it out with Shifty Vesterson. He uses really good strategy in each bout and winning against him is never easy. What's that? Did you say he looks like Jim Tressel? Hellz naw! Any likeness is purely coincidental, homeslice!"

Punch him in the mouth before he causes massive damage!

"One of the toughest opponents in my game is Yappy Gumflaps. Look how big his head is! He comes out really pumped up, and he taunts you a lot. For some reason, beating him is extra satisfying these days. Oh, and he is definitely not Jim Harbaugh. Word."

Controversial or not - I am buying this game tomorrow! It will be a nice change from NCAA 2008.


Reed said...

Oh my God, dude. That's hysterical. I mean, I'm kinda drunk right now, but that's fantastic. The one thing I'd love to see is that Sun Belt ref from the Alamo Bowl in place of Glass Joe. And of course Brett Bielema as Don Flamenco...

Andrew said...

one question. why is Super Mario the referee?? another work of hilariosity!


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