Who Cares Who The Quarterback Is?

Truth, Justice, and the Michigan Way!

Over the last few weeks, there have been numerous articles about how Michigan's quarterback status is still unknown, and that even a walk-on might win the job. You know what I say to that?

Who cares who the quarterback is?!? JUST GET THE DAMN BALL TO SAM McGUFFIE!

That's right - no matter which quarterback is playing, we're all better off by letting Sam McGuffie work his whiteboy gangsta magic and hurdle, juke, and spin around people on the way to the end zone.

Offensive line gonna majorly suck this year? It's best to give the ball to a guy who can get the hell out of dodge in the blink of an eye - not let a quarterback stand in the pocket to be eaten alive by a pack of defensive linemen and defensive ends.

People might say the quarterback will be inexperienced and will have trouble learning a whole new offensive system. No worries, good sir. Whoever the quarterback is, they'll only have to learn one play - the handoff to Sam McGuffie.

Sam McGuffie is the answer to every problem which may arise this year. Thank you, Football Jesus, for delivering him to us.

He's White and Light and That's Alright.

Who will be McGuffie's Eddie Haskell?

Here's some McFluff to tide you over for a few days. Sure, you may have already read this. But I bet you the other sites didn't have a picture of McGuffie as The Beaver!

Et Tu, Sam?

Today was supposed to be a joyous day. I woke up to Mikey's wet snout on my face, grabbed him, and said "today's the day we get Sam McGuffie!" Then I got dressed, hopped over the bum in my lobby, and went to work.

All day at work I was sneakily checking Rivals and MGoBlog for the latest updates. I was really depressed after I learned Sam wasn't 100% sure about us.

Losing him would be a slap in the face combined with a kick in the balls. A total shock that really hurts and something you never saw coming. I'd hate to spend the next four years watching him in that ugly mustard and blue uniform wondering what may have been.

Sam - for all that is good in the world...send that letter of intent to Rich Rodriguez tomorrow.

Autumn Thunder's "Keep Sam McGuffie" Petition Now Online!

Do you still love us?

When Sam McGuffie committed to Michigan a few months ago, the Maize and Blue fanbase rejoiced. Oh, how wonderful it would be to see him in that winged helmet! Now it appears that with the coaching change drama so prominently in the news, certain commitments may be wavering. The only thing we, the future Sam McGuffie fans can do is show our appreciation for this awesome Texan.

If you have 15 seconds, please sign the "Keep Sam McGuffie in Maize and Blue" petition. Do you think we can get 10,000 signatures before the new coach is named? I do!

If you have the inclination, email it to your friends! Put it up on some message boards! Let's get that 10,000! No other fanbase will appreciate him like we will - let's show it.

If he sees the love we have for him and knows of his opportunity on the depth chart, hopefully he'll be a Wolverine in February.

Open Letter to Sam McGuffie #3!

Who looks badass in a winged helmet? Sam McGuffie looks badass in a winged helmet!

Sam, we're all really glad to hear you enjoyed your visit to Ann Arbor this past weekend. The University of Michigan is 'perfect,' you say? Damn right it is! Did you see how much love Mike Hart got during the game? Did you hear the student section chant his name as he left the field in the fourth quarter- so loud and so passionately that he limped back onto the gridiron to honor them? You are our hero waiting in the wings. In a few years, a steady chant of "SAM! SAM! SAM!" will echo 111,000 strong.

If you are at all concerned about coaching changes, I just heard today on Rivals Radio that all the assistant coaches at Michigan had two year contract extensions signed last year, so it is highly likely that the vast majority of the coaching staff you are working with now will be there next year.

I hope your recovery is going well and you're enjoying your senior season, albeit from the sideline for now. High school football is a great thing - but wait until you get to Michigan! You can't even imagine how good life will be.

Whatever happens, I'll always be a fan.

Sincerely,

C.C.

Another Open Letter to Sam McGuffie.

Hi Sam,

I hope you're recovering from your injury and feeling ready to kick some butt this fall during your last year of high school. I'm sure your senior year isn't shaping up quite how you expected it to be. For sure, Michigan's year isn't shaping up the way how we all expected, either.

If you're having any second thoughts about coming to Ann Arbor next year, it's understandable. After all, the team you just committed to just lost to a FCS team last week and then got owned in this week's game against the Ducks. Suddenly, the prize you picked doesn't seem so shiny and new anymore, while the school you passed over is doing quite well this year. Couple that with the fact that the coaching staff you thought you would be working with might be gone in a few months - it's got to be weighing on your mind.

But Sam, there are benefits to riding out the storm. For one, if you saw how the other running backs are playing this year, you can pretty much tell that you can come right in and get significant playing time right away. Being buried in the depth chart will not be an issue.

Also, rest assured whoever Michigan brings in to replace Coach Carr and any other departing staff members will be BADASS. This is Michigan football we're talking about. While Bill Martin has been known to pinch pennies in the past with coaching salaries, he will spend top dollar to get Michigan the finest football coach money can buy. Alumni will pitch in to make sure this happens. Whoever the coach is next year, he will be great and lead the team right back on track to where you thought it would be when you committed.

Down years happen, Sam. They can happen for a number of reasons. Lack of team chemistry, bad coaching decisions, lack of adapting to the way the game is being played...they're all reasons why Michigan is not performing up to expectations this year.

But you represent the future. You're the type of player this program needs in order to be dominant in the next generation of college football. We're all hoping that you come in, amaze us on the gridiron, and have a career we will all tell our kids about someday.

Don't give up on us, Sam. We need you.

Whatever happens, I'll always be a fan.

Kindest regards,

C.C.

McNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sam McGuffie is injured! If football didn't start tomorrow I'd be in a heap on the floor crying. Goddammit, this just isn't fair for the guy. He has his whole season ahead of him and he gets injured the first game.

Get well Sam! Autumn Thunder sends you the best of vibes for your recovery.

Sam McGuffie Moves Into The Top 100!

He's here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. But he's all out of bubble gum!

It was recently announced that Sam McGuffie has moved into the Rivals.com top 100. Not that the ranking matters that much, but congratulations Sam! Your awesomeness is growing by the day. Sam McGuffie has a fistfull of boomstick and he's going to unloaded it in 2008! SWEET.

McYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

McGuffie, Bitches!

Sam McGuffie has committed to Michigan. Wait, let me say it again - SAM McGUFFIE HAS COMMITED TO MICHIGAN! Oh, the joy! In a little over a year, we will get to see McGuffie jump all over people, spin around a bunch of dudes and then run for 90 yard touchdowns, and bring to Michigan some of that cocky whiteboy gangsta funk that the team has been missing. Hellz yeah! Thank you, Fred Jackson, thank you. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. McRelief at last.

Dear Sam...

Dear Sam,

Hope life is good down in Texas! You don't know me, and the chance is slim that the two of us will actually meet in person. But rest assured, I have been reading every article, watching every home video of you jumping over defenders synched to bad rap music, and generally obsessing about your possible commitment to the best college football team in the universe. I heard you enjoyed your trip to Michigan 2 weeks ago and I'm sure you heard lots of great things about life as a Wolverine. As a proud Michigan grad, I want to share with you some of the things about Michigan and the great city of Ann Arbor which made college so wonderful. In no particular order...


Gorgeous Campus: Whether it's spring and the flowers in the Diag are in full bloom, summer and the birds are singing in the trees early in the morning, fall and the leaves are exploding with color, or winter and the landscape is blanketed in virginal white snow, Ann Arbor is gorgeous. We have great traditional-style campus buildings like the Law Quad, Michigan Union, and West Quad, and we have new, ultra modern buildings like the Duderstadt Center on North Campus. Once you arrive on campus, you'll never want to leave.






Proximity To The D: You like baseball? How about those Tigers? Basketball? Meet the Pistons. Hockey? It's Hockeytown USA! Football? We have...U of M! 3 out of 4 ain't bad!





National Television Exposure: Michigan football is on TV ALOT. The more people see you, the more people will be astounded by your awesomeness and you will become a national sensation.



Friendly MidWesterners: You'll never meet a friendlier group of people than the MidWestern folk. You'll feel like you know everyone right when you get here!





Great Traditions: Michigan is abundant with tradition and pageantry. The Little Brown Jug, The Michigan Marching Band, "Those Who Stay Will Be Champions"... Michigan has one of the oldest football programs in the country and has an air of grandeur, history, and passion that few other programs can match.











A Financially Loaded Athletic Department: You can't spell money without M. Forbes recently named Michigan one of the top 5 most valuable college football programs, and cited that Michigan leads the nation in revenue per game. Cha-Ching!




An A.D. Who's Not Afraid To Spend On Facilities: Bill Martin, Michigan's Athletic Director (who I like to refer to as Big Billy Dollaz) has dropped a serious wad of dough to make Michigan one of the the best places to play college ball in the country. Can you imagine yourself leaping over linebackers in a newly renovated Big House?





A History of Producing NFL Talent: Look at the NFL rosters and you'll find a Wolverine nearly everywhere you look. Just think - future recruits will consider Michigan based on the fact that you went there and that you made it to the NFL! You'll be a hero to millions of kids across the country.







Pizza House: Sam, I know you're a healthy eater. But when you get the munchies, you will love this place. It's open late, the staff is friendly, and it makes the best pizza you've never tasted. The cheesy breadsticks are to die for. Can you picture yourself hanging out late at night talking with your teammates about life, love, and football while chowing down on some delicious pizza and having a Coke or two? Good times guaranteed.





Oberon Beer When You're 21: Let's keep it real, Sam. You're probably going to drink while you're on campus before your 21st birthday. When you do, make sure it's one of these - the tastiest beer known to man. Only in the upper MidWestern states can you find this perfect summertime nectar. So, so, soooooooooo gooooooooood!






Michigan Football Fans: We're classy, passionate, and fun. We know how to have a good time without crossing the line. We don't set things on fire or loot. We'll get two friends and write S-A-M on our chests with blue paint. We'll buy your jersey from The M-Den. We'll be loyal, and watch you in the NFL after you graduate.



Huge Alumni Fanbase: Sam, when we graduate, we never stop watching football. Our passion for the game and our team intensifies, because it's a constant reminder of how we spent the happiest, most carefree years of our lives. We remain connected to the University forever and the bond you can share with a total stranger when you find out they went to Michigan is incredibly awesome.




The Best Helmet in Sports: When people see this helmet, they know they're seeing greatness. You shouldn't wear a helmet that signifies any less. You'll look like a total badass in this helmet! Linebackers and safties will see the three stripes going down the back and sigh as you buzz around and over them.




The Tri-Delt Girls: You'll get so much booty from these ladies you won't know what to do with yourself. Be forewarned though - most of these girls have had more balls in their mouth than a Hungry Hungry Hippo, so be smart and "use the proper coverage!"




The Greatest Fight Song Ever: You can probably hear it playing in your mind right now as you envision yourself crossing the goal line for the first time and feeling the power of 107,000 fans scream your name before the break into the chorus. "Hail to the victors valiant..."




The Best Rivalry In Sports: You're a superstar, Sam, and superstars belong on the biggest stage so they can shine for everyone. The Michigan/OSU game is watched by more people than any other college football game every year. How many games will you win for Michigan?



So, basically, I think you're frickin awesome and REALLY want to see you in the Maize and Blue next year. You'll be the jewel of the recruiting class, and if you join the team, I promise that I will post countless crappy photoshops of you doing really awesome stuff. No matter what happens with your commitment, I'll always be a fan.

Kindest Regards,

The Cowbell Commander.