A New Hope for America.

I don't know about all of you guys, but I am thoroughly unimpressed with the selection of potential candidates for the next President of the United States. Hillary? Brrrrrrr! Barack? Not yet. McCain? Get the oxygen tank ready.

You know what America needs? Hart and Edwards in 2008. How would they handle two of the most important issues?

Diplomacy: As President, Mike Hart would go around to all "little brother" nations of the world and spread cheer and a positive attitude to all.

Finance: Remember how Braylon scored 3 miracle touchdowns against Sparty in '04 when everyone though the game was over? As VP, Braylon could totally pull out a clutch performance and bring the country out of the potential recession.

I'll be expanding more on my Hart/Edwards proposal in coming posts. Think of the possibilities!

Mike Hart Still Slow; Still Awesome.

The NFL combine is over, and Mike Hart had a slow 40 time. Big freakin' surprise there! Was anybody expecting him to burn up the turf?

Mike, even if you're a tad slow, we all still love you.

Swansong.

Dear Mike,

It's hard to believe it's all over now. I remember the first time I saw you during my senior year at Michigan and thinking, 'Wow, I bet this kid's gonna be pretty great someday.' Fast forward four years later to the point where I own #20 home and away jerseys, devote a significant portion of my workday sneaking around the internet reading about you, and naming my first dog after you. I guess 'pretty great' was a pretty big understatement.

By now you've probably seen my blog and may have been a little creeped out. But please, before you go, allow me to explain.

Sure, the stuff you may have seen here might seem a little off-the-wall and nothing more than the cheesy fabrications of a guy with a serious mancrush. That might be true - but in all seriousness, you are a real inspiration to me.

You give hope to everyone who has the odds pitted against them. You aren't big. You aren't fast. You don't have superhuman strength. But damn were you successful - moreso than anyone else who did what you do in over 100 years of the greatest football tradition on Earth. People with God-given abilities far beyond your measure didn't even come close to what you accomplished during your time at Michigan. An unyielding desire to win and a don't-take-no-for-an-answer attitude carried you higher and farther than the strongest, fastest, most elusive legs ever could.

You had a lot of great plays on the field while you were here - too many to list. But you know the ones I will remember most? Not the thirty-yard runs after breaking a tackle. Not the runs where you fiercely stiff armed a linebacker in the face and never looked back after you ran on.

The plays I will remember most are the two or three yard runs where you tried hard, but didn't get it. The ones where you would always pop back up, shake yourself off, and bounce back to the line ready for your next try.

It makes me think that if I really set my sights on something and never give up, I can be something really special too.

Thanks for everything.

Most Sincerely,

C.C.

They Beat Themselves to Death to Beat Sparty.

I am the sackmaster! Wanna know why?

In one of the most exciting Michigan football games I've seen in a while, the Wolverines barely beat the Spartans. This win put the team one game closer to their goal of winning the Big Ten Championship. However, after this rough and aggressively-played game, it is unclear whether the Wolverines will be with their two biggest weapons for the remainder of the season.

Hart started feeling severe ankle-pain in the second quarter, and Henne re-aggravated his knee injury in the third quarter. Both players had to leave the game (Hart for the majority of the second half, and Henne for one series) due to the extreme pain they were feeling.

When Hart left the game, Brandon Minor and Carlos Brown tagged team their way through the second half. Minor and Brown did not play like the 'new and improved' Wonder-Twins that we have seen the last two games - they were Minor and Brown of old. Largely unremarkable. Most attempts to run up the middle were fruitless wastes of first, second, and third downs. Once again, we see how dangerous it is when the Wolverines play against a competent team intent on playing to win and Mike Hart is not in the game.

I have given Ryan Mallett the benefit of the doubt for the last few weeks, but I can defend him no longer - the kid has a serious case of fumble-itis. He is ranking right up there with Brown and Minor during their freshman campaigns.

Dude! Seriously! Somebody wrap his hands in duct tape, or put some super-glue on his palms...but we can't expect him to lead a good drive down the field if the ball pops out before the play starts. The biggest arm Michigan has ever seen is useless if there is no ball to be thrown.

It will be a real heartbreaker to watch the team come this far only to get denied at the end of the road due to key players being injured.

Chad, Mike - tomorrow I'm going to go to church and light a candle for each of you. Get well soon...they can't do it without both of you.

Revenge of The Son of Mike Hart for Heisman!

"Best Photoshop Ever. Sorry, Autumn Thunder."

I demand satisfaction! Herewith is my formal rebuttal: The sequel to Autumn Thunder's first "Mike Hart for Heisman" video highlight reel. BEHOLD!



Since Mike Hart has missed two games and is not making the SportsCenter highlight reels, I'm taking matters into my own hands. MIKE HART FOR HEISMAN!

Autumn Thunder's "Mike Hart for Heisman" Highlight Reel.

As Mike Hart continues to climb in the Heisman standings, he needs all the help he can get! I don't think everyone in the media truly knows what Mike Hart is all about. Perhaps this will open a few eyes. BEHOLD!

Is The BTN Handicapping Hart's Heisman Hopes?

Heeyyyyyyyyy - must be tha mon-ayyyyy!

Jon F, an AT reader, sent me an interesting email explaining his theory of how the BTN may be handicapping Mike Hart's Heisman chances this year. After reading his thoughts, I totally agree! Counting next week, more than half of Michigan's games will have been on the BTN. As a result, millions of people around the country have missed the following:

1) Mike Hart heroically rallying the Wolverines late in the game against ASU (despite the loss).
2) Mike Hart breaking the Michigan all-time rushing record last week.
4) Long, exciting runs in the Northwestern game and Hart getting up again and again after being pounded by a defense intent on destroying him.

"A Mike Hart in a botttt-tle....Mike Hart in a botttttt-tle..."

How much more of Hart's heroics will the country and the Heisman voters miss before it is too late? How much longer will BTN bottle up Mike Hart's greatness and keep it to their relatively small handful of cable affiliates?

It has been shown in the past that media darlings have a much greater chance of winning the Heisman - and if Hart is only being shown on a fraction of the country's TV sets, he is at a serious handicap.

What do you guys think?

You Beautiful, Beautiful Man!

Into the record books today. Into our hearts and minds forever.

Forget about Christmas. Forget about Hannukah. Kwanzaa, Ramadan, Easter - who the hell cares? My birthday? Pssh. Today is the most important day of the year. Today, Mike Hart shattered the Michigan all-time rushing record. Oh, I was so happy for him! All that hard work - all those yards earned bit by bit - today they all came together to put him atop Michigan's mountain of running back legends.

Screw you, Lincoln. Did YOU break any Michigan rushing records today?

By the season's end, I expect he will add another 400 yards on top of his current rushing total of 4,655.

I watched the game at Metro 53 today, where the New York alumni chapter meets every week to watch Mike Hart kick ass. I happened to run into John U Bacon, author of "Bo's Lasting Lessons," who was in the bar signing copies of his book and hobnobbing with New York's finest Wolverines.

"You're wearing the right jersey!" Mr. Bacon said, commenting on my Mike Hart fan gear. "He's the man today!"

"He's the man every day," I said back.

Back On Track!

Review that call! Meeeeeeeeeeeeeheheheheheheheheheheheeeeeee!

It was fantastic to be back in Ann Arbor this weekend! It was even better to see a Michigan victory over the Lions. Paterno was insistent that the refs review every single call which could possibly be disputed, but that didn't stop Michigan from stuffing the Lions on every single key drive and holding them to three field goals.

There numbers shall account for nothing! They shall never get past us!

Oh. My. God. You were so awesome in this game I can't even begin to describe it. You just ran on and on, and bit by bit they realized they couldn't stop you. "Mike Hart: the ballcarrier!" was music to my ears all afternoon. The moment when you inched the ball over the goal line on to get the final touchdown - so inspirational! But you know what my favorite part was? After you got injured in the fourth quarter, you started to walk out, and then you turned around and limped back into the field because you didn't want anyone else carrying the ball.

We didn't want anyone else, either.

I Love Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!.

Smite those evil bastards!

You promised us victory and you delivered. They tried to stop you but you ran relentlessly and left them all stunned. You turned bad situations into celebrations. You broke their hearts while you uplifted all of ours. You showed us why we should always give a second or third attempt when it doesn't work the first time. You are our guardian angel, our cheerleader, and our general.

Thank you for giving us something to really believe in again. Thanks for never giving up when all the weight was on your shoulders.

Watching you play is an honor and a privilege. Every time I watch you I am filled with joy and hope. But at the same time, each game brings us closer to the moment where you'll say goodbye to us.

What will we do then?

"Michigan Fan Day" or "How I Went Through Hell To Meet Mike Hart."

Today, I achieved a goal which I set for myself a long, long time ago - I met Mike Hart.

Yes, it was only for a few seconds. Yes, he didn't say much to me, or look me in the eye for more than half an instant, or even say thanks after I wished him a great season. But I met Mike Hart, and have proof of this meeting which shall forever be memorialized on an authentic Schutt Pro-Air 2 Michigan football helmet (thanks eBay!) inside UV resistant glass casing fit enough for the Museum of Modern Art.

This was perhaps the longest weekend I've had in a while. Perhaps if Mike Hart knew what I went through to make this 6 second meeting happen, maybe he wouldn't have been so dismissive, and maybe he might have even said something back to me after I told him how thrilled I was to finally meet him in person.

My journey through Hell to meet Mike Hart all started Friday morning when I found out Northwest Airlines had not processed the reservations I made for myself and my girlfriend almost three weeks ago.

(Thanks, idiots.)

I went into a panic at my desk at work after I got off the phone with one of Northwest's customer service peons because the airline was going to screw me out of my only chance to meet my favorite player of all time on his last fan day at the University of Michigan. I scrambled around the internet like Vince Young, racing from one discount travel site to another in hopes of finding 2 semi-affordable plane tickets to Detroit for that very same day.

I managed to score two tickets through United Airlines (ughhhhhhh) at about $400 a pop from Travelocity. The tickets called for a layover in D.C. and the normally 2 hour trip would take 5 hours. But Goddammit, I was meeting Mike Hart no matter what the cost or inconvenience. Besides, I could pack my lunch for work for the next month instead of going out of the office to eat to recoup back the money I splurged on the tickets. It would be worth it just to say hello to him.

So at 4:30 PM on Friday my girlfriend and I started our trek from Brooklyn to La Guardia airport in Queens. This included an hour subway ride, and then we had to transfer to a bus - only the bus never came. (Damn you, NYC public transportation!!!!) By some miracle, I was able to score an empty cab while standing on a highway in Queens during rush hour and get my girlfriend and I to La Guardia airport just in time to make the flight.

An empty cab on a busy NYC highway when I needed a cab more than ever? God was sending me a flashing neon sign that he wanted me to meet Mike Hart. Everybody knows that you don't ignore God when he's acting in mysterious ways. So we got in the cab, and I started to get the feeling that everything was going to be ok. I couldn't have been more wrong.

The plane boarded half an hour late. The cab ride miracle was superfluous. Why was the flight delayed? It turns out some stewardess wasn't where she was supposed to be and held up 200 people from getting to their destinations.

That very same stewardess was quick to provide very complacent and unapologetic answers when people asked if they would be able to make their connecting flight to Detroit because of the delay during boarding.

"Ummm, I don't think so. It's not really realistic. But hey, there's always hope!" she stupidly giggled. I silently swore to myself then and there that if that bitch kept me from meeting Mike Hart, I would tackle her on the runway harder than LaMarr Woodley ever tackled a quarterback in his entire life. Vengeance would be mine. Blood would be spilled. Justice would be served.

Fortunately for the stewardess, the captain of the plane had one hell of a lead foot. We made up 15 minutes in the air, and my goal of meeting Mile Hart was kept alive. My girlfriend and I made our connecting flight.

Next, came two hours of boiling frustration.

The connecting flight to Detroit boarded on time. (A United Airlines miracle!) We taxied to the runway, and then the plane stopped. One of the stewardesses (what is it with these women!) thought she smelled leaking fuel and alerted the captain. The maintenance crew was called to the scene, but they couldn't fix the problem on the runway and the plane had to be towed back to the gate with all the passengers inside. Mike Hart seemed to slip further out of my grasp.

45 minutes later, the leaking fuel problem was solved. But the plane had lost so much gas, we needed to have a fuel truck come over and give us a fill-up. 30 more minutes passed. I was about to explode like Alan Branch did on Anthony Morelli last year.

To top it all off, when the fuel truck was filling the plane, some jackass pilot double parked his jet in back of the plane in which we were riding. I didn't think it was possible to double park a jet aircraft because of all the tower supervision, but apparently the imbeciles at United Airlines had found the secret. 45 more minutes passed while nobody moved the offending aircraft. I was ready to knock some heads like Crable did to Troy Smith 9 months ago. Rage! Rage! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage!

Long story short, the trip from New York to Detroit took 10 hours. My girlfriend and I arrived at her parents' house (bless their souls for picking us up from the airport at 1:30 AM) at 2:30 AM. We were in bed by 3 AM, and were out the door at 6:45 AM to get to Michigan Stadium and get in line to meet the players. We got 3 hours and forty-five minutes of sleep after that hellacious ordeal. But you know what? I would have went on no sleep at all for the chance to meet Mike Hart.

My girlfriend and I got the stadium by 8 AM, and waited an hour and a half in line to enter the gates. Then we waited an hour in the running backs line.

Seemingly an eternity later, it was my turn to meet Mike Hart. It was the moment of truth. It was the holy grail of the Michigan Fan Day experience.

"It's awesome to meet you Mike!" I said with the excitement of a 5 year old boy on Christmas morning. I handed him my shiny new Michigan football helmet to sign. He quickly scribbled 'Mike H 20" on the side. "Thanks! Have a great season. I'll watch every play." I said.

There was no response from Hart. No "thanks man!" No "alright, see ya later." Hart just nonchalantly handed me back my helmet and motioned for the next fan to come his way so that he could bless whatever Michigan chachki they might present to him. 6 seconds, and it was all over.

If Mike Hart knew what I had went through to meet him, maybe things would have been different this morning. Maybe he would have been happy to meet me too, and maybe he would have said how honored he was that people are willing to come from halfway across the continent just to say a few words to him and have him write his name on some of their stuff.

Am I upset? Not really. How can I be? I realize that this was a hectic day for him, and that he can't concern himself with the troubles of pissant fans like me. He has an entire program to carry. He has thousands of smiles to put on a nation of Maize and Blue faces. He has an archenemy to defeat, a bowl game to win, and a championship to claim. I'm just a grain of sand in the Mike Hart desert. A drop of water in the Mike Hart ocean. A smiling face that he'll probably neither see again nor remember.

Was it all worth it for 6 seconds?

Hell yeah! I GOT TO MEET MIKE HART!

Plus, I also got autographs Donovan Warren and Junior Hemingway before the ushers kicked me out of the stadium. Sweeeeeeeet.

Hart Pulls No Punches For Harbaugh!

"I Don't Ever Want To Meet Him! RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Mike Hart wears his heart on his sleeve. He doesn't duck questions, and he always speaks his mind. I've always loved that about him. After reading his comments during Big 10 Media Day, I can't help but wonder if he's crossed the line between honesty and lack of discretion regarding what he said about Jim Harbaugh. Hart made valid points - Harbaugh's assertions about Stanford were self serving, and he did take a Michigan transfer student into the Stanford program while at the same time criticizing the academic credibility of Michigan football players. But Mike, you didn't show much class out there today. I hate to say it - but you almost sounded like a bitter, whiny jerk.

To an extent, we all feel a sting from Harbaugh's words. But the true mark of a Michigan man is to show class at all times, even when you're boiling with anger and have a chance to take a public shot at the source of your frustration.

I know that criticizing Mike Hart on a Michigan blog is punishable by 40 lashings. I will go to confession tomorrow and repent.

Meeeechigan Football Celebrity Lookalikes!

Are you ever curious as to what celebrities our boys in blue look like? Using the Myheritage.com face recognition program, the mystery is finally solved! I put in a few of our favorite players and the results are both fascinating and amusing.

MIKE HART

Our favorite running back Mike Hart was determined to look like:

1) Terrance Howard - Starred in "Get Rich or Die Tryin'."
2) Andre Braugher - That guy from "Homocide: Life on the Street."
3) 50 Cent - King of Gangsta Rap and Thug Life Icon.

I think the face recognition program did a good job here. I can see the resemblance!

CHAD HENNE

Chad Henne was matched to:

1) Barack Obama: Democratic political candidate.
2) Paul Walker: The dude from Fast and the Furious.
3) Paris Hilton: Prison Bitch. Literally.

WOW! Did the program have a temporary malfunction? Did Henne's chin overload the motherboard? DAMN!

JAKE LONG

Jake Long, the Goliath left tackle, is computed to resemble:

1) Ricky Martin: Bon Bon shaker.
2) Boy George: Bon Bon enthusiast.
3) Vaira Vike-Freiberga: President of Latvia. Bon Bon!

Once again, the program did an acceptable job. I can see where these all relate.

MARIO MANNINGHAM

Mario Manningham, receiver extroardinaire, was matched up with:

1) Cuba Gooding, Jr: Shown the money.
2) Jack Black: Nacho Libre et al.
3) Zsa Zsa Gabor: 40's and 50's Hungarian movie babe.

Did the computer nail this one? The Cowbell Commander says...meh.

DAVID CONE

At last! The backup QB who we never see! David Cone. He was said to resemble:

1) The creep-tastic inbred banjo kid from the movie "Deliverance." A perfect 100% match!

Who do you look like? Go to the site and find out!

Mike Hart To Make Celebrity Appearance In South Park!

"Screw You Guys, I'm Going To Pizza House."

Autumn Thunder has been told from a reliable source at Comedy Central that Mike Hart will be making an appearance in South Park this upcoming season. Though many details of the exact plot for the episode are unknown, it is rumored that Hart will be forced to battle Mecha-Clarett in an attempt to save South Park from destruction and terror. Watch for this episode to air this coming fall!

Hart Saves Baby Orphans From OSU Ninja Death Squad!

Today seemed like just another ordinary day for Mike Hart. He was on his way out of the UM hospital after doing his usual weekly round of community service - meeting with the sick, cheering up the patients, and basically spreading joy and merriment wherever he went. Then, Hart heard the distressed cries of babies coming from the UM Hospital's Orphan Wing like a shrill alarm sounding danger.

Hart, who was already in his karate outfit because he was heading to train with Grady and Mr. Miyagi, immediately ran over to the Orphan Wing to find the cause of the disturbance. It was there where Hart discovered a three-man OSU Ninja death squad who had intentions of kidnapping and killing these defenseless babies.

"I wasn't really ready for this," said Hart. "But I had to take these OSU ninjas down or these babies would be sold for parts on the black market. There was no way those ninjas were going to get by me with those babies!"

It has long been rumored that OSU had been stealing babies and selling their fresh virginal organs for profit in order to keep the pockets of their players lined with cash, therefor preventing their immoral and greedy players from taking kickbacks from their jobs or from boosters and losing eligibility. This dastardly trio proved these allegations to be true.

Thankfully, Hart made quick work of the Ninjas. In a fashion that would have Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, and Jean-Claude Van Damme green with envy, Hart disposed of the ninjas with style and a smile before he gently returned the baby orphans to safety and individually rocked them all to sleep. The ninjas were arrested by the Ann Arbor Police and are being held for questioning until further notice.

Once again, Mike Hart emerges the hero. Is there any limit to what he can do? Is there an end to his generosity, selflessness, or all-around general awesomeness? We here at Autumn Thunder know the answer to that question - and so do the orphans sleeping soundly in their cribs thanks to one special tailback.

Sir Elton John, Mike Hart to Open "Save Manningham" Benefit Concert!

When international recording superstar Elton John caught wind of the Mario Manningham drug scandal, he was shocked, appalled, and motivated to act against the grave injustice brought upon Michigan's finest reciever.

"Seriously darling, I've done benefit concerts ever since I was a young lad, and the Save Manningham concert is my most important gig to date. I've sung for every charitable cause from starving African children to obese American children, but no cause has touched my heart like this one has. The framing of Mario Manningham is one of the worst tragedies I've ever witnessed, and I intend to sing some over-dramatic, yet catchy songs to show my support for this wonderful young man," said Sir Elton.

The Save Manningham concert will feature premier acts including, but not limited to U2, Aerosmith, The Police, and The Dave Matthews Band. Opening the Save Manningham concert with Elton John will be extra-special guest Mike Hart. The two will begin the concert with "Like A Vicoden In The Wind," an adaptation of one of Sir Elton's greatest hits.

Look for upcoming details of the Save Manningham benefit concert right here on Autumn Thunder!

"300" Gets Sequal; Mike Hart Gets Leading Role.

After the smashing success of "300" this winter, Warner Brothers has decided to make a sequel. Only this time, instead of casting some white guy on steroids, Mike Hart will get his first nod in a leading Hollywood role. There are other changes from the original film. After thousands of Iranian protesters boycotted "300" due to the defamation of Persian culture, WB will no longer use Persians as the enemy. Instead, Trojans will be the villains, as nobody in the history of humanity ever liked them.

The plot is mysterious at this point, but we suspect it has something to do with Mike Hart beating the crap out of some Trojans. We here at Autumn Thunder say, "what the hell more do you need?" Keep it simple!

The movie is tentatively titled "20: Hart's Revenge" and is due out in January 2008. Look for more information coming up in future months.

The tagline so far?

"Tonight, we dine in...PIZZA HOUSE!"

What The Cameras Didn't Show You: Hart Saves Puppy From Certain Death!

The cameras caught a lot of exciting game footage last fall when the Wolverines battled the Buckeyes. Mike Hart had an exceptionally spectacular game, carrying for over 100 yards and two touchdowns. However, during a commercial break, the cameras missed Mike Hart's most heroic moment - his selfless rescue of Snuggles, the beagle puppy who somehow wandered his way onto the field.

Hart and Patterson (a Buckeye defensive back) were both vying for Snuggles when they saw him sneak over the sideline. "I saw Patterson with a bloodthirsty look in his eyes. I knew that if I didn't save that dog, he would be eaten alive on the spot. I couldn't let that happen," Hart remembered.

Hart dashed over to the dog, picked it up, and with the same grace and strength with which he carries the pigskin, he sprinted the cuddly canine over to safety. Unfortunately, neither the audience nor the media noticed the act of bravery.

When asked about the incident, Patterson remarked "Urrrrrrg! Me want eat doggie! Mike Hart is bad bad man! He take tasty doggie away!" Patterson was distracted when he saw a shiny piece of tin foil in the distance, and declined to comment further.

Had Michigan won that game, Hart would have been seen as a hero by millions of football fans all over the world. But on that fateful day, in one small puppy's eyes, the littlest running back was the biggest hero he could ever hope to see.

Mike Hart Defeats Tyrannosaurus; Officially Named The Biggest Bad-Ass Ever on the Planet.

Mike Hart is known for making mincemeat out of defenses across the Big 10. However, this week, Hart kicked it up a notch and went mano e dino with the king of the dinosaurs in a winner-take-all battle for the title of "The Biggest Bad-Ass Ever on the Planet." The Big House was intentionally left empty for this unadvertized matchup in case the tyrannosaurus went bezerk and embarked on a Jurassic Parkesque rampage.

Hart, who sat out spring ball to prepare for this man vs. dinosaur challenge, juked T-Rex at the 20 yard line and ran into the endzone despite the roaring and thunderous footsteps from the lizard king.

"Yeah, it was pretty easy," said Hart. "I mean, he's big and all that, and he was ferocious and snarly, but his brain's the size of a walnut! Let's be realistic."

Tyrannosaurus was devastated. "I tried to tackle him...but look at my arms! They're useless! I can't believe this. I mean...RAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"