MTV names Bill Martin to host new show: "Pimp My Athletic Complex."

Move over, X. There's a new pimp in town - Bill Martin, or as his fans in the business development world know him, Big Billy Dollaz. Impressed with the way Dollaz is handling the renovations and additions to the University of Michigan athletic complex, MTV has devoted a new show to college athletics upgrades with the 18-24 demographic in mind.

"Dawg, it was mad crunk what I did to Michigan Stadium," quoted Dollaz. "At first, the luxury boxes seemed like all I was going to do. But then I was like 'Aw hellllllllllz naw! Let's kick it up a whole 'notha level.' So I put platinum spinner 22 inch rims all around the stadium, and if the noise isn't loud enough with the champagne rooms (luxury boxes) I added, I had 10,000 watt subwoofers installed all across the sidelines. Next, I'm gonna put personal DVD players in the back of the benches and smoothie machines on top of all the urinals in the men's room. This House used to be a hoopty, but now it's gonna be hype! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh Boooooooooooy!"