Saturday, April 28, 2007

Alternative Endurance Training Methods Fail Alan Branch.

The mighty Michigan DT Alan Branch, once considered by many to be a top 10 NFL draft prospect, shocked draft analysts around the country when he was picked in the second round by today by the Arizona Cardinals. Branch's stock seemed to plummet in the NFL combine as scouts from various organizations noticed his endurance wasn't quite at the level necessary to be a great NFL defensive lineman.

How did Branch train for the combine? Rather than follow traditional workout regimens, Branch concocted his own way of getting fit for the camp. He stealthy tackled sprinters from the UM track team while they practiced, duct-taped slices of pepperoni pizza to them while they were unconscious, and ferociously chased them around the track once they awoke. Branch would usually chase the sprinters for a quarter mile or so before their concussions kicked in and they blacked out once more.

"Coach Carr and Coach English always said that we should practice our tackles on the run." Said Branch. "The pizza? I threw that in there for an extra bit of motivation. You know - just something else to help me get my game face on. Plus, I thought it would be nice to have a tasty treat after I was done my workout."

Had Branch worked with a speed and endurance coach over the off-season, perhaps he would have gone as high as 5th in the draft.

"Okay, Okay, I know this probably wasn't the best idea I've ever had." Admitted Branch. "But it was definitely the most delicious one."



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