You heard it here on Autumn Thunder first: Lloyd Carr has offered a scholarship spot on the offensive line to none other than King Kong Bundy, a massive professional wrestler whose fearsome grimace strikes fear in the hearts of men of all shapes, colors, and creeds.
"Well, I know this is unusual offer, but we really need depth at this position," grumbled Coach Carr. "King Kong Bundy never went to college, and has never played football professionally. He meets all the standards and qualifications to play Division I-A college ball, and we'll be glad to have him here at Michigan if he takes the offer."
What about all the talented high high school seniors who could play the position? "Actually, I'm getting tired of all these high school kids and all their little problems," said Carr. "Look. Who would you rather have? A 298 pound high school senior, or a 350 pound King Kong Bundy? A kid with no life experience, or a King Kong Bundy with nearly 20 years of ass-kicking experience? Would you want a kid who's never dealt with thousands of hostile fans, or a King Kong Bundy who has bodyslammed the Hulkster in front of millions of people? I think you see where I'm going with this."
Should King Kong Bundy work out well for the Wolverines, Carr is rumored to be considering Razor Ramon for linebacker and the 1-2-3 Kid at cornerback. Stay tuned to Autumn Thunder for further developments on the recruiting of King Kong Bundy.