Friday, April 27, 2007

Maurice Clarett: Not Smarter Than a 5th Grader.

Upon their first parole from prison, most ex-inmates take a little time to decompress and enjoy life. They do things like hangin' with the homeys, spending some time with the baby mama, and sipping down some cool forties while smokin' some Phillies. Not Maurice Clarett!

After becoming hooked on "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" while incarcerated, Clarett's first goal after getting out of prison was to get on the show, outsmart some elementary schoolers, and win some cash to start paying his legal bills and alimony. Too bad for Clarett he was up against Spencer "El Nino" Sanchez in the first round.

Sanchez outsmarted Clarett on every question. Long division? You could see the steam coming from Clarett's ears. Geography? El Nino owned that category like Clarett owned illegal firearms. Spelling? Clarett was D-O-M-I-N-A-T-E-D. After all that he had been through in the last two years, this was almost unbearable for Clarett. Foxworthy's unrelenting taunts caused Clarett to break down in tears in front of a national television audience.

"Bein' expelled from school was bad. Bein' 'rested the first time was bad. Being 'rested the SECOND time be twice as bad. I ain't even gonna lie to you bout that, son! You know what goes on in the joint?!? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! Clarett hysterically screamed at the children. But dis? Sayin' I ain't smarter than no 5th grader is the most embarrassing thing I ever had to do."


MVictors said...

Welcome to the clogosphere...err, blogosphere. Great stuff with the the pics and especially enjoyed the Clarett blast. G,

PeterGriffin said...

Welcome to the M-Blogosphere! You got some real good posts up here. Bill Martin - Big Dollaz was freakin hilarious. So now my work day includes 3 blogs - mgoblog, Mzone and Autumn Thunder. Go Blue!


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