Wednesday, February 20, 2008

No Decisions Are Easy For Terrelle Pryor.

SCENE: The lunchline in Jeanette High School is way backed up. Why? Terrelle Pryor has to make a choice, and it is taking seemingly forever.

The inside of Pryor's mind...

'OK. It's time to make the decision. I knew what was on the menu for a long time, and I think I want the fish sticks. But Dad doesn't like fish sticks...he thinks I should go for the Salisbury Steak. But then again, tacos just came onto the menu this morning...oh...let's just think a little longer...nobody will mind...'

(somebody in the back of the line shouts) "Hey! DECIDE ALREADY!"

'How rude. I'll just ignore that. I'm Terrelle Pryor, and I'm going to take my time deciding what I want for lunch, Goddammit. After all, I've been playing basketball lately, which as we all know has a direct impact on my ability to decide these sorts of important matters. I can't be expected to make decisions like most people do. Oh, the pressure is just too much sometimes.'

(someone else yells) "PICK WHAT YOU WANT!"

Then Terrelle speaks up...

"I'd like to make an announcement. I am announcing I am not choosing my lunch at this time. I just want to make the right choice for myself, and I need to weigh the options. I'll decide in a few more weeks. You'll all have to wait until then."

(everyone groans with irritation)

END SCENE.

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