For a while last week, rumors flew around that Sean Payton was being considered for the Michigan coaching job. Those rumors have been put to rest.
"Like, I am totally not going to be the Michigan coach. It's not my fault I'm such a beautiful option, with this perfect bone structure and stylish hairdo. I make too much money in the NFL to leave. And with that money, I'm going to some good in the world. I'm going to open the Sean Payton Institute for Athletic Directors Who Can't Hire Coaches Good."