Sunday, December 30, 2007

How The Hell Will They Stop Tebow?

Behold the horror of my spread offense! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

In a little less than two days, the Michigan defense will have to try and stop Tim Tebow, who many would argue is the single greatest offensive weapon in college football today. Good luck with that one, fellas. Here are some Tebow-handling tips I would like to offer the Wolverines before the Capital One Bowl on Tuesday.

Distract him with attractive women.

Most of us have seen the pictures of Tim Tebow with Juggy McFakerson floating around the internets. From this, we can deduce that while Tebow has proven himself nigh invulnerable to blitzing linebackers and defensive tackles, he has shown us a weakness: boobies.

Therefor, the Michigan co-eds should do everything in their power to distract Tebow before and during the game. If we can't beat him on the field, we'll target him where any 19 year old man can be exploited.

Pray for A Miracle.

Let's face it. Unless something quite extraordinary happens, Tebow will tear Michigan's defense to shreds. Go into this game with no expectations and you'll probably get through it without major depression afterwards.


Mr. Flushing said...

Your blog is absolutely absurd, which is why I read it. Anyone who attempts to take any of this seriously is either an Ohio State fan or a person without a sense of humor (hint-they're interchangeable.)
What are doing after college, I could use a guy like you...

Cowbell Commander said...

I am already out of college but what's your proposition Mr. F?


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