Mike Hart Still Slow; Still Awesome.

The NFL combine is over, and Mike Hart had a slow 40 time. Big freakin' surprise there! Was anybody expecting him to burn up the turf?

Mike, even if you're a tad slow, we all still love you.

He's White and Light and That's Alright.

Who will be McGuffie's Eddie Haskell?

Here's some McFluff to tide you over for a few days. Sure, you may have already read this. But I bet you the other sites didn't have a picture of McGuffie as The Beaver!

Maize and Blue Make Grey?

I know Beilein is having a tough first year at Michigan...but until I noticed his hair color from the beginning of the year until now, it was not apparent HOW tough.

2007

I'm the new basketball coach at Michigan! YAAAAAAAAY

2008

I'm the new basketball coach at Michigan! CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

Time for some Grecian Five, Coach!

No Decisions Are Easy For Terrelle Pryor.

SCENE: The lunchline in Jeanette High School is way backed up. Why? Terrelle Pryor has to make a choice, and it is taking seemingly forever.

The inside of Pryor's mind...

'OK. It's time to make the decision. I knew what was on the menu for a long time, and I think I want the fish sticks. But Dad doesn't like fish sticks...he thinks I should go for the Salisbury Steak. But then again, tacos just came onto the menu this morning...oh...let's just think a little longer...nobody will mind...'

(somebody in the back of the line shouts) "Hey! DECIDE ALREADY!"

'How rude. I'll just ignore that. I'm Terrelle Pryor, and I'm going to take my time deciding what I want for lunch, Goddammit. After all, I've been playing basketball lately, which as we all know has a direct impact on my ability to decide these sorts of important matters. I can't be expected to make decisions like most people do. Oh, the pressure is just too much sometimes.'

(someone else yells) "PICK WHAT YOU WANT!"

Then Terrelle speaks up...

"I'd like to make an announcement. I am announcing I am not choosing my lunch at this time. I just want to make the right choice for myself, and I need to weigh the options. I'll decide in a few more weeks. You'll all have to wait until then."

(everyone groans with irritation)

END SCENE.

Autumn Thunder Book Club: What It Takes To Be Number One.

More like Vince LomBOREdi.

I know the Autumn Thunder book club has been dormant for a while, and I apologize for that. Anyway, the latest installment of the ATBC is "How To Be Number One" by Vince Lombardi, Jr., a book about the values and mottos of his father, Vince Lombardi, Sr. As most of us know, Lombardi was one of the most successful coaches in NFL history, and he had amazing success in Green Bay as he turned around one of the NFL's most hopeless programs into a yearly juggernaut.

He may have been an outstanding coach - but this book suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

Compared to "Bo's Lasting Lessons," the Lombardi book is long-winded, dry, and preachy. It is somewhat impersonal, which is an iceberg which can quickly sink any leadership/motivational book. After reading it, I felt like I just got out of one of those company meetings where the boss tries to pep us up, we all clap at the end, but under our breath we all say "what a load of empty fluff."

Mikey knows "what it takes to take a number one" on my floor quite often.

Buy or skip? Definitely skip. If you want, you can avoid Lombardi Jr.'s cardboard writing and read the speech which made Lombardi famous as a corporate speaker (see thoughts above). If you really want a good leadership/motivational with football anecdotes, my number one choice is still "Bo's Lasting Lessons." I'm not shilling for Bo, John U. Bacon, or Michigan - it's just better in all aspects.

It's Good! To Date! A Michigan Wolverine!

Look at the love on our faces.

I know it's cheesy/borderline whipped to do this, but I want to take a moment to say...

I am pretty damn lucky to have a charming, funny, pretty, smart, and most importantly, die-hard Michigan football fan as my girlfriend. We met watching football in a NYC sports bar two years ago, became best friends pretty quickly, and then it grew into something special from there. Today marks our second year of dating.

She's pretty much everything a man could want...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand she has SEASON MICHIGAN FOOTBALL TICKETS ON THE 35 YARD LINE TO BOOT!!

I love you, J*. Happy Valeversary :)

Happy Valentine's Day In Advance!

Oh baby, you're so soft and tender. I could just eat you. Wait...I WILL!

I'd like to wish all you AT readers a Happy Valentine's Day in advance. Valeversary festivities will prevent me from blogging tonight and tomorrow night (Dig this - I was lucky enough to have J* let me combine our anniversary and Valentine's Day celebration into one special night since they are on consecutive days. It's our own "Festivus" of sorts...).

I hope you get to spend time with someone special. If you're single, at least take comfort in the fact that you're not spooning a hot dog. If you are spooning a hot dog...at least make sure the condiments face away from you.

The George Costanza of College Football Recruiting.

It's not a lie if you believe it, Jerry.

Oh. My. God. I read this story about how Kevin Hart (no relation to Mike Hart), a high-school lineman from Nevada, faked his recruitment by Cal and Oregon for months and just confessed to making everything up. I could not help but compare this moron to my favorite sitcom character of all time - George Costanza.

Remember when George invented Vandelay Industries so he could fool the New York unemployment office into giving him more time to collect his unemployment benefits? Instead of picking Cal and Oregon for his fake recruiting, Kevin Hart should have went for something a little less obvious. Perhaps something like...

Et Tu, Sam?

Today was supposed to be a joyous day. I woke up to Mikey's wet snout on my face, grabbed him, and said "today's the day we get Sam McGuffie!" Then I got dressed, hopped over the bum in my lobby, and went to work.

All day at work I was sneakily checking Rivals and MGoBlog for the latest updates. I was really depressed after I learned Sam wasn't 100% sure about us.

Losing him would be a slap in the face combined with a kick in the balls. A total shock that really hurts and something you never saw coming. I'd hate to spend the next four years watching him in that ugly mustard and blue uniform wondering what may have been.

Sam - for all that is good in the world...send that letter of intent to Rich Rodriguez tomorrow.

I'm Sooooo Over Diva Recruits.

Is that Crazy Joe DaVola?

Besides wanting to be a media whore, is there any reason at all why a top recruit would have to delay his announcement until the last possible second?

No. None at all. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Nil. No-ski. Nyet. Nein.

Most of these guys have been hounded by major programs since they were sophomores, have had lots of time to check out schools and take visits, and many of them have full knowledge of where they're going for weeks before signing day. Why then, must they drag this out until signing day?

Two or three years ago, I used to love watching to see where the players would end up, and didn't mind playing the waiting game. But now, I'm a bitter old man who is sick of the extravagant decision making processes and self-glorification of these eighteen-year-old show ponies.

Did Sam McGuffie put on this type needless indulgence into his recruiting? No. That's why I already like him way better than any five star quarterback we may get. Sam McGuffie is a man of action. He proved he was a badass, looked at his options, kept quiet to the media, and made a choice within a reasonable amount of time. That's how it should be done.

Thank God singing day is Wednesday. I'm so over this.